A Special Cup of Gratefulness
As I
cross over the midway point of the 3rd month of this year I wanted
to take this day and use my blog to publicly thank the Lord for every single
thing that has transpired in the last year of my life. For most of my time
working in ministry, I thought that I truly knew what it meant to sacrifice for
the Lord and walk by faith through each day. When the Lord began to talk to me
about changing seasons while I was leading a church and living in the same city
as my children, I honestly didn't know the right questions to ask nor how to
process all that was going on. I never did say, Holy Spirit, what are YOU
saying in this? But I did remember a night I stood on a stage at Texas
Stadium in front of over 71000 people before a Carman concert and hearing the
Lord saying that I had completed what I was sent to do for Carman and his
ministry. Because I had just relocated my family to Nashville and was so
comfortable with my quality of life, it took me 5 years to actually let it go.
When I finally did make the transition, I made a commitment to myself to not wait
so long if I ever felt that way again.
Moving
into a new season after Carman, at the leading of the Lord was bittersweet. I
arrived in Tulsa to be a part of the fastest growing church in the city. That
church imploded just a month after I arrived. No, it wasn't because I arrived there:) I looked to what I knew to do and that was encourage others…share my story…and
that led to the launching of a church I founded. My marriage of 20 years ended right as the church began. I was very hurt, shocked, sad and at the same time determined that I would not die. I could survive. The next 13 years at The Landing were more like a classroom of
learning; learning that survival can only come when life is surrendered to the
Lord. I wish I could tell you that I never blamed God. I wish I could tell you
that I was never angry about the course that life had taken. The interesting
thing was that the Lord was the only person I could process all of the challenges
with. I had 2 choices: to run away from God or to run into His arms. Thankfully,
most of the time I ran towards Him. Perhaps because of the way my parents
raised me and the way I was treated by my spouses parents who were ministers.
They all had so much to do with me ending up as a worshiper and a pastor. I got stronger. My heart healed. My hope increased.
As I reflect back on the last year it was another round of change...again hard but this also the most rewarding year in a long time. I was in between seasons,
in the hallway if you would, for about 6 months. Income was very low compared
to others years. But the lessons were not only financial. Trusting in the Lord,
taking care of others and loving my way out of the pit...that was the real lesson.
Learning how to listen to the Lord and obey, when it goes against everything
you know…that was paramount. Nobody, myself included really understood how I
could walk away from a church I began after 15 years of growing and nurturing it. To this day I know many
people may feel betrayed by my decision and the way it happened. To them I
apologize. I was trying to do the right thing and knowing it may not be popular
was very difficult to reconcile. I am still learning every day how to take those steps of faith- hear the voice of God- and respond in a timely fashion
regardless of the consequences or cost.
Fast
forward to the end of last year-the Lord brought me to one of the most amazing
places on the planet for me…Gateway Church. The teaching is powerful. The
leadership is prayerful. Why their tag line is…”we’re all about people”! It might as well have said, “we’re here for Joe!” I
have found a place to soak, consume, digest and grow. After 34 years of
speaking and singing for the Lord, helping to produce many live events, writing 7 books and over 2000 devotional articles, it feels amazing to realize that I
am still a vessel that gets poured into each week-filled up with the
goodness and grace of God , for the sole purpose of being poured out upon others.
So in
this season I’m taking all types of classes…I’m sitting in a variety of worship
experiences and classrooms and God is rebuilding my spirit…you might say…this
cup of joe is in the potter’s hand and He is shaping it like he wants it to be.
The cracks and chips are being smoothed out by Him.
It’s
for all of the challenges…the heartbreaks…the painful decisions…that I thank
you, Lord, for never giving up on me. Your grace was always more than enough
for whatever came my way. Thank you for the seasons I have left and this beautiful season I have entered. Thank you for my family and friends who played their role in
whatever part of the journey they were in. I’m honored to a child of God. I’m
thrilled to be in YOUR family. I’m grateful for salvation and eternal life. Thank you that last year was not the end...it was just an intermission. Guess that means another act is about to begin! Thanks be to God who always and in ALL ways causes us…causes ME to triumph!
